Aug 18, 2012

ATTN Bronies: Stop It

 OK, we get it already. Daddy didn’t love you enough or maybe a little too much, either way we’re tired of your My Little Pony fetish taking over every forum and website. If you’re lucky enough to not know, let me explain. A Brony is a grown-ass man who is obsessed with the new My Little Pony cartoon. Yes, the one where little pink and purple ponies with rainbows and “cutie marks” bounce around and do childish things and learn about deep things like friendship and sharing.

I first heard about Bronies on the Something Awful forums. Shortly after the show came out, the forum was flooded with pony avatars. I found the thread where it all started and people were insisting that this show is 1. Well animated, 2. Has a great storyline, and 3. Super funny! So, since I’m a fan of animation and all of the above, I decided to check it out. I watched an episode. And then another. I did a YouTube search for “My Little Pony funny scenes.” I found this.


The animation is Flash-based, which by anyone who understands animation and by all professional standards is considered cheap, simplistic and down-right boring.

The storylines are exactly what you would expect from a show made for little girls. They’re each centered around a lesson about friendship. If a little girl or boy was watching it I’d consider it a wholesome cartoon with some decent lessons. But I’ve read Bronies talking about the life lessons and values they’ve gained from the show. Are you kidding me? If you don’t understand the basics of friendship by the time you’re in your 20s then a cartoon about colorful ponies is the last thing that will help you, buddy.

It isn’t funny. I mean watch that clip I linked to above. It’s supposed to be a compilation of funny moments from the show. It’s all childish, silly humor that I could see a 6 year old giggling over but not picture any type of adult enjoying. There are plenty of cartoons out there now that clearly offer humor to a wide audience. Regular Show and Adventure Time both come to mind because they constantly make references that adults would find funny yet would completely go over kids’ heads. For instance, there’s an episode of Regular Show where Rigby is calling Mordecai “whipped” because he’s watering the plants of a girl he likes while she’s out of town. Mordecai says, “she’s my friend” and Rigby responds “yeah, friend without benefits.”

I wouldn’t really care about Bronies or grown men watching this show, but they constantly throw it in your face by forcing it into completely unrelated conversations. They make it a huge part of their lives and a lifestyle, I mean they call themselves “Bronies.” Any person who is that obsessed with one fandom can get annoying fast, but they take it to a new level.

And, of course, there’s the creepy factor of their complete obsession with a little girl’s show. And I have seen some disturbing, sexual stuff out there. Just doing research for this post I was clicking on related videos of My Little Pony clips and stumbled on this nightmare. That sexual pony video has over 300,000 views, almost 3,000 likes, and creepy comments like this on it:

Ugh, what is going on? And it has 61 likes! He just said “it’s not abnormal that one feels sexually attracted to ponies” and 61 people agreed. Then I unfortunately learned there is a thing called “clopping.” I don’t have anything else to say about that.

The best part is one of their favorite things to spout is “love and tolerance” (another lesson from the show), but if you dare say anything against the show or their fandom, they act like you just called them a racial slur (yes, they’re mostly white dudes). They’ll call you a bigot, throw a fit and attempt to troll you.I’m actually counting down to getting some rage comments on this post.

In conclusion, the original My Little Pony was 1,000 times better.

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